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Philadelphia's Art Museum Area

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Name: Kramer
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
so i come in late one night and my wife says do you smell rubber burning---i said damn, i thought i took that thing off!LOL
 

 
Name: Kramer
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
Have you ever noticed? anyone driving slower than you is an Idiot,and anyone driving faster than you is a Maniac
 

 
Name: oldtimer
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
I told my wife she had a "Hour Glass figure"...all the sand was at the bottom
 

 
Name: oldtimer
Date Entered:June 19th, 2007
 
Baseball Cincinnati Reds were the first team....then who did they play
 

 
Name: Kramer
Date Entered:June 19th, 2007
 
my wife said someone complimented her on her driving.She said they left a little note on her windshield that said "Parking Fine"
 

 
Name: Kramer
Date Entered:June 19th, 2007
 
Daylight Savings Time why are they saving it and where are they keeping it?
 

 
Name: "K"
Date Entered:June 19th, 2007
 
If you jog backwards

will you gain wait?
 

 
Name: Kramer
Date Entered:June 19th, 2007
 
Question: can a stupid person be a smart-ass ?
 

 
Name: Kramer
Date Entered:June 19th, 2007
 
trust me,as long as there are tests there will be Prayers in school.
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 
Q: What did the black girl say while having sex? A: Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 
Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarea and thought he was melting
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 
Q: Why wasnt there any blacks in the flintstones? A: Because they were still monkeys.

 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 
Q: A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? A: The cop!
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 


PEEPING TOM



"My wife caught a Peeping Tom last night, and she'd have killed him if we hadn't stopped her," said George.

"He must have made her very angry, peeking at her, huh?" replied his friend.

"No, that's not what made her the maddest," the husband chuckled.

"It's not?" asked the friend.

"No, she got mad when he reached in the window and closed the curtains!"

 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 
A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at it.

When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the performance.

The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and starts again.

The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.

So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed...and finds four Chinese men.
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 


PAYBACKS, OUCH!



A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.

He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line. "How much for a ride to the airport?" he asked.

"Fifteen bucks," came the reply.

"And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?"

"What?! Get the hell out of my cab."

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, "How much for a ride to the airport?"

The cabbie replied, "Fifteen bucks."

The businessman said, "Ok" and off they went. Then, as the drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 
A POEM FOR MOMS AND DADS



Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my sanity to keep. For if some peace I do not find, I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.

I pray I find a little quiet Far from the daily family riot May I lie back--not have to think about what they're stuffing down the sink, or who they're with, or where they're at and what they're doing to the cat.

I pray for time all to myself (did something just fall off a shelf?) To cuddle in my nice, soft bed (Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)

Some silent moments for goodness sake (Did I just hear a window break?) And that I need not cook or clean-- (well heck, I've got the right to dream)

Yes now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my wits about me keep, But as I look around I know-- I must have lost them long ago!
 

 
Name: Kramer
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 
My wife will buy anything marked down--last week she bought an Escalator
 

 
Name: OLDTIMER
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 
My wife is a "earth sign "and i'm a "Water sign"...together we make "MUD"
 

 
Name:
Date Entered:June 18th, 2007
 
why don't Jewish men get down on girls....its to close to the gas chamber----boo,boo
 

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